Self-Reference in Pie Charts

Haven't you ever wondered what percentage of pie charts resemble pac-man? I know I have.

my sense of humor?

the Wit
(61% dark, 30% spontaneous, 15% vulgar)


your humor style:
CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK


You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.

I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.

Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.


PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais




The 3-Variable Funny Test!

- it rules -

This is Unacceptable

Bush Confounded by the 'Unacceptable'

President Wields Word More Freely as His Frustration Rises and His Influence Ebbs

By R. Jeffrey Smith

Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, October 13, 2006; Page A10

President Bush finds the world around him increasingly "unacceptable."

In speeches, statements and news conferences this year, the president has repeatedly declared a range of problems "unacceptable," including rising health costs, immigrants who live outside the law, North Korea's claimed nuclear test, genocide in Sudan and Iran's nuclear ambitions.

Vegiforms® - Lee Valley Tools

Vegiforms® - Lee Valley Tools: "Available in the form of an elf for shaping eggplant, melon, pumpkin, and squash, or the 'pickle pair', corncob or heart (makes heart-shaped cross sections when sliced) for use with cucumber, zucchini and summer squash."

Why carve jack-o-lanterns when you can grow them?

Jack the Cat Chases Black Bear Up Tree, Jack the Cat Proves His Mettle by Chasing Black Bear Up Tree in N.J. - CBS News

Jack the Cat Chases Black Bear Up Tree, Jack the Cat Proves His Mettle by Chasing Black Bear Up Tree in N.J. - CBS News: "(AP) A black bear picked the wrong yard for a jaunt, running into a territorial tabby who ran the furry beast up a tree _ twice."

Funny, I have yet to see a bear chase a cat.

The First Post : OK Treadmill

The "Willy" award for best use of gym equipment in a music video goes to: OK Go via The First Post

Jesus Is Not a Republican

A compelling read from inside American Evangelicalism.

"The leaders of the religious right have led their sheep astray from the gospel of Jesus Christ to the false gospel of neoconservative ideology and into the maw of the Republican Party. And yet my regard for the flock and my respect for their integrity is undiminished. Ultimately it is they who must reclaim the gospel and rescue us from the distortions of the religious right."

Some days the cat eats the bear

from: http://newsradio88.com/pages/44478.php

WEST MILFORD, N.J. (AP) -- At least one bear in West Milford doesn't want to know Jack.

Jack is a ten-year-old orange-and-white tabby. And when the cat spotted the bear in a neighbor's yard, the clawless kitty took action.

The bear scurried up a tree on Sunday and eyed the cat for 10 to 15 minutes, while Jack stared and hissed from the ground. The bruin inched its way down before jumping off and running away.

But Jack chased the bear into the brush and up another tree.

That's when Jack's owner realized what was happening and called her cat. The bear took off as Jack rubbed up against its owner and the neighbors.

Jack's owner, Donna Dickey, tells The Star-Ledger of Newark Jack considers the area his turf and doesn't want anyone in his yard.

a highly suspect ancient chinese encyclopedia listing of animals

I rather think this is bogus, but it begs the question: where do you put a fabulous stray chihuahua that is trembling and just broke your flower vase?

In The Analytical Language of John Wilkins (El idioma analítico de John Wilkins), Jorge Luis Borges describes "a certain Chinese encyclopedia," the Celestial Emporium of Benevolent Knowledge, in which it is written that animals are divided into:

1. those that belong to the Emperor,
2. embalmed ones,
3. those that are trained,
4. suckling pigs,
5. mermaids,
6. fabulous ones,
7. stray dogs,
8. those included in the present classification,
9. those that tremble as if they were mad,
10. innumerable ones,
11. those drawn with a very fine camelhair brush,
12. others,
13. those that have just broken a flower vase,
14. those that from a long way off look like flies.

People doing the "Furry Lobster" must find a new name for their abberent behavior

From CNN

PARIS, France (AP) -- Divers have discovered a new crustacean in the South Pacific that resembles a lobster and is covered with what looks like silky, blond fur, French researchers said Tuesday.Scientists said the animal, which they named Kiwa hirsuta, was so distinct from other species that they created a new family and genus for it.

why do i find pictures of animals wearing these so funny? what's wrong with me?  

More infinite cats

infinitecats: Now has their own domain. Update your links, and then start at the back and move forward using previous link for the full cat-tunnel effect.

FactCheck.org

FactCheck.org - Annenberg Political Fact Check

Sweet site. Seemingly non-partisan truth serum applied to political ads. Me like.

What the hell?

BILL CLINTON:

Mr President, I had mixed feelings coming here today, and they were only confirmed by all those kind and generous things you said. It made me feel like I was a pickle stepping into history.

I mean, normally he's fairly cogent, how did he allow Bush to show him up? Did GW's civility take him that much off guard? Was he drugged by Secret Service before being allowed before the President? Was it not really Clinton at all?

So many questions.

OUTRAGE!!!!! Must. Dismiss. Rumsfeld. NOW!

MSNBC - Rumsfeld ordered prisoner held off the books

Isn't it about time this guy goes down? Heck, make it a two-fer and dismiss Ashcroft as well!


from MSNBC:

Pentagon officials tell NBC News that late last year, at the same time U.S. military police were allegedly abusing prisoners at Abu Ghraib prison, U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld ordered that one Iraqi prisoner be held "off the books" - hidden entirely from the International Red Cross and anyone else - in possible violation of international law.

Bruce Sterling on How American Science is Doomed if Bush Re-elected.

Wired 12.06: VIEW

Meanwhile, gaps will open between research establishments in the US and other countries, much like the one that now yawns between American and Korean stem-cell producers. US science will come to have a stodgy, old-fashioned, commissar-style inability to think and act freely. Yankee initiative and ingenuity will bow to bulging pie-in-the-sky superprojects like unproven antimissile systems, hot-air broadband initiatives, and swashbuckling moon shots.
Eventually the whole vast bubble will burst of its own fairy-tale unreality. Few will be held accountable. The quackeries will be purged, forgotten, hushed up. Except, that is, for the lasting effect on the health, morale, and self-esteem of the American people.

Talk to the good boy.

Yahoo! News - Can Dogs Speak? No, But They Understand, Study Says

His owners say "Rico, wo ist der (where is the) Banane (banana)," or "BigMac" or "Panda," and the dog searches, out of sight of the owner, until he finds the object.


Fischer and colleagues set up experiments to test the dog, and are satisfied that he understands the words.


"For instance, he can be instructed to put them into a box or to bring them to a certain person," they wrote.

Too cool.

Jon Stewart's ('84) Commencement Address at William & Mary

From Site: "Lets talk about the real world for a moment. We had been discussing it earlier, and I, I wanted to bring this up to you earlier about the real world, and this is I guess as good a time as any. I don't really know to put this, so I'll be blunt. We broke it.
Please don't be mad. I know we were supposed to bequeath to the next generation a world better than the one we were handed. So, sorry.
I don't know if you've been following the news lately, but it just kinda got away from us. Somewhere between the gold rush of easy internet profits and an arrogant sense of endless empire, we heard kind of a pinging noise, and uh, then the damn thing just died on us. So I apologize.
But here's the good news. You fix this thing, you're the next greatest generation, people. You do this'and I believe you can - you win this war on terror, and Tom Brokaw's kissing your ass from here to Tikrit, let me tell ya. And even if you don't, you're not gonna have much trouble surpassing my generation. If you end up getting your picture taken next to a naked guy pile of enemy prisoners and don't give the thumbs up you've outdid us. "

Oh to have been at that focus group.

"We need a name for this project: think people! Flying robots that will someday save the world. It has to be catchy - so people will like them and we can get funding. HAH! I've got it: MADMEN!!!!!"

USATODAY.com - Asteroid-eating robots considered for Earth's protection: While those methods promise some fantastic explosions - and maybe a blockbuster hit - a team of engineers are looking at a more patient approach. Their weapon: a swarm of nuclear-powered robots that could drill into an asteroid and hurl chunks of it into space with enough force to gradually push it into a non-Earth impacting course.
'We're aiming to examine the whole idea of these robots,' said Matthew Graham, design project manager for the study at SpaceWorks Engineering, Inc. (SEI), an engineering consulting and concept analysis firm in Atlanta, Georgia.
SEI researchers have completed a preliminary study into the robots, called Modular Asteroid Deflection Mission Ejector Node (MADMEN) spacecraft, under a grant awarded by the NASA Institute for Advanced Concepts (NIAC) to come up with new techniques to defend the planet against pesky near-Earth objects (NEOs).
'Previous studies by NASA and NIAC focused on concepts that could detect asteroids or bump them using propulsion systems of nuclear weapons,' NIAC director Robert Cassanova told SPACE.com. '[MADMEN] was rather unique in that it would nibble away at the asteroid.'

I wish this were required reading for all voters.

I'd like to force this article down quite a few throats, for all the good it would do... Exerpt is a quote from Goering prior to his suicide.

The Independent Weekly: With trembling fingers: "'It is always a simple matter to drag people along whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. This is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in every country.' "